Compartmentalization

“The ability to separate things into little boxes so they can be dealt with one at a time.” (a Bw definition)

I’ve never really been good at that. But I know lots of men who do it automatically.

So does that make it a “male trait” or just a left brain activity?

Whatever it is, I need a big dose of it to get through the next few months! I’ve got projects, events and concerts out the ying-yang! (You can see just a few of them on the Current Events List I put up this weekend. And these don’t even count the two new websites I’m working on: Affirmation Songs & a Wedding Music Commission site.)

The main problem is that when I finally get going on a project, I don’t want to stop. It’s sort of an all-or-nothing characteristic which seems to show up in multiple areas in my life.

The other challenge is that most of my projects are not the sit-down-one-time-do-it-then-it’s-over type activity. And with different amounts of time each day to devote to these projects, I can’t really assign them to their own day either…..

What’s a right-brained girl to do?

Hm… guess the first step would be to go get a shower and figure out what to start on first!

Here’s to continuing the Journey… and trying to get a grip on all these boxes!

Are You Brave Enough to Love 100%?

Many times in relationships we hold back a tiny piece of our heart, our inner self, because we’re afraid of being disappointed or betrayed or even abandoned.

So we don’t give 100% commitment or energy to our relationship.

What sort of beliefs might we have that cause us to be so afraid of loving wholeheartedly? What beliefs cause us to tolerate unloving situations or to settle for less than what we need in our love relationships?

A good way to begin to explore these questions is to look at your self-talk – your mind chatter. Are you saying things like “I’m not smart enough, sexy enough, deep enough, pretty enough, etc?” Or is it that you think you’re just not enough – Period!

Are there old resentments or regrets holding you back or stealing your energy? Is there an old flame or other unfinished relationship from the past that needs closure?

Take some time today and ponder the question:

Are you brave enough to love 100%?

And if you are, try this Recommitment Exercise.

(This exercise and the idea for today’s post is adapted from this week’s edition of Debbie Ford’s Newsletter - http://www.debbieford.com/)

1. Write down your beliefs about love. If you’re in a relationship, what excuses do you tell yourself about not giving 100%? If you’re not in a relationship, what do you tell yourself about why you’re not? What fears come up for you? What gets in the way? Write it all down.


2. Then say good-bye to the whole list. Burn it or shred it and toss it to the wind letting it be the “fertilizer for your future loves.”


3. Ask yourself what you need to learn from all this. What lessons about love can you learn from your past? Maybe you need to make your requests more clear. Or you need to be more discerning. Is time the problem? Do you need to make more time for yourself or more time alone with your partner? Do you have the courage to your partner for the love you need?


4. Put up reminders of your recommitment to love. Put up inspiring quotes about love or pictures of people who represent love to you. A great way to remember new intentions or commitments is to turn them into little songs. It makes them easy to remember and it gets your whole body involved when you sing them. (See AffirmationSongs.com.)


5. Everyday pray about love. Ask for help remembering to love - to see love and to give love. Ask for guidance to know your next in the evolution of your own heart.


6. Give thanks for the love that’s in your life right now. Even if you’re not currently in a personal love relationship, look at the ways love shows up in your life – a smile from a stranger, the purr of a kitten or love licks from a puppy, the laughter of children, the camaraderie between friends or co-workers. Notice what makes you smile or brings that warm fuzzy feeling to your heart. Take a deep breath and give thanks that you are alive and well. Gratitude is the twin sister of love. You can’t have one without the other!

Here’s to continuing the Journey… learning and growing and celebrating all the love in our lives!

-Becky

Energy Drains and Unresolved Projects

Following Debbie Ford’s lead in her book, The Best Year of Your Life, I determined that these two qualities are the ones I need to make this year the ‘best year of my life’:

• Self-discipline


• Razor-sharp focus

However, working from home comes with its own bundle of self-discipline and staying-focused challenges. Then you add to that my reoccurring tendency to:

• put too much on my plate


• get overwhelmed


• take a ‘regroup’ nap


• finally get started on a project


• then it’s time to go to an outside appointment

This morning I woke up feeling very foggy, sluggish and scattered – which is a surprise considering that yesterday I had a great day keeping focused and on task. I was really looking forward to doing the same today.

Going through my list of projects at breakfast, trying to get out of the fog and get some energy going, I came up with about 8 hours of action steps that needed to be done. Then I counted the number of hours I have available before going to teach and rehearsals tonight….

There were only 4.5 hours available. (Even thought I got up at 6:00 a.m., taking that ‘regroup’ nap right after coffee and playing with DC (my kitty) set me back a few hours!)

So as I went through the list again, determining which things could wait and which absolutely needed to be done…. Then it hit me…

Unresolved projects drain my energy.

I already know that when I’m working on something and get hung up because of waiting on a decision or feedback from someone else that hasn’t come back in a my-timely fashion, it can really derail me.

Same thing happens when I’m in the middle of a movie and have to stop watching it. I get antsy and pre-occupied with it. (Getting hooked on the show ‘24’ will either cure me of this or drive me insane!)

This happens when I’m in the middle of a project too – especially a composition project.

(Is it even possible for a right-brained circular thinker to learn to ‘compartmentalize’?)

Anyway… I realized that there were two things on my to-do list that were ‘unresolved.’ One I’m waiting on critical feedback from another person. (This project has been unresolved for about two years, going through many attempts to reach the finish line. This is a newly resurrected attempt.)

The other unresolved project is waiting on me! Because I keep putting it off. (It’s a left-brained detail activity that always seems to take way more time than it should!)

Energy drains make it hard to focus.

The ‘waiting for feedback’ project is out of my control. So I have to let that one go. The other, however, IS in my control. So guess I’ll do that one next. AND just so it doesn’t take all of my time this morning, I’ll set a timer to only work on it only one hour. It’s not critical that I finish it today. But it IS critical that I at least get started on it to give it some momentum and give me some energy-drain relief!

Scheduling a couple of projects to do after that hour – ones that absolutely MUST be done today will help motivate the ‘self-discipline’ quality to take charge when the hour timer goes off.

…. That’s my plan for today anyway….

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. and trying to get a handle on the energy drains that steal your focus.

-Becky

The Lord's Prayer (Aramaic to English)

This version of The Lord's Prayer was read as part of my Atlanta women's circle graduation ceremony Sunday evening. I think it is very profound and eye-opening. It really spoke to me, so I wanted to share it with you. (It is translated directly from the Aramaic to English - rather than from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to English. Found in the November 2003 issue of PASHAA.)

O Cosmic birther of all Radiance and Vibration
Soften the ground of our Being
and carve out a space within us
where Your Divine Presence can abide.

Fill us with Creativity
that we may be empowered
to bear the fruit of your mission.

Let each of our actions
bear the fruit in accordance with our desire.

Endow us with wisdom to produce and share
what each Being needs to grow and flourish.

Untie the tangled threads of destiny that binds us
as we release others
from the entanglement of past mistakes*.

Do not let us be seduced by that which diverts us
from our true purpose.
Illuminate the Opportunities of the present moment.

For you are the *ground and fruitful vision,
the birth-power and fulfillment
as all are gathered as one and made whole again.

Amen

*Discrepancies in what was read and what I found on the source website. (Still researching for where the "read" version came from.)

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and offering new food for thought....

-Becky

Self-Sabotage Habits

In my continuing efforts to make 2006 the best year of my life… this morning I was thinking about how I’ve gotten into a self-sabotage habit in my piano practicing.

To begin with, I tend to not even look at the piece until about a week later than I should (estimating the amount of time it will need before its performance.) Then, about two or three days before the event, for some reason or other, I won’t get around to practicing on those days. Which sends me into a panic the day of the performance.

As I was contemplating all this…. and (finally) cleaning my bathroom, I was thinking how good it would feel to walk into a non-disgusting looking bathroom again (… I won’t even say how many weeks… months?.... I’ve let it go … justified, of course by my busy schedule!)

Anyway – I realized that this self-sabotage spills over into just about all areas that have to do with taking care of myself and giving myself the things I know I need…..

So…. I wrote another singing affirmation…. which, actually turned out to be more of a little song…… (one of these day’s I’ll figure out how to record it and get it online…..)

I’m giving up all my self-sabotage habits,
I’m giving up all the things I do that make things hard on me!
I’m giving up all my self-sabotage habits,
And I’m giving myself all the things I know I need.

I give myself love…
I give myself peace…
I give myself joy…
I give myself time to take care of my needs!

I’m giving up all my self-sabotage habits,
I’m giving up all the things I do that make things hard on me!
I’m giving up all my self-sabotage habits,
And I’m giving myself all the things I know I need.

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. giving yourself love, peace, joy and TIME to take care of YOU!

Wanted More Than Anything Else

I’ve been reading Debbie Ford’s book, The Best Year of Your Life. She talks about how we are all “chasing” some feeling – how everything we do, every action we take (or don’t take) is ultimately done because of how we think it will make us feel.

This feeling thing not a new concept. It’s actually been around for thousands of years, as Gregg Braden discovered when he helped translate the Isaiah Scrolls. The scrolls talk about a mode of prayer that has been forgotten through the centuries. In The Isaiah Effect, he explains how this lost mode of prayer – the one that creates miracles in our lives – is praying with the feeling that the prayer has already been answered.

Medical research is now proving that how we feel about ourselves, our experiences, our world, has a direct affect on our bodies. Cell biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton states that in our evolution from single-celled beings to multi-cellular beings, our brains developed a two-way system of communicating with this “community” of cells. This two-way communication system is our emotions, i.e. our feelings. Emotions color our perception, which shapes our experience of the world around us. The reverse is also true, in that how we perceive our life experiences has a great impact on the emotions we feel. And as he explains in The Biology of Belief, our perceptions stem from our beliefs.

But…. I digress….

As for beliefs…. Being adopted as a young toddler, I’ve always had an “I’m not wanted” issue (i.e. limiting belief). I realized that the feeling I’ve been “chasing” most of my life has been the feeling of being adored, cherished and wanted... or rather, not just wanted, but wanted more than anything else!

My epiphany this morning was the realization that all these years…. I haven’t wanted myself more than anything else either! (duh!)

I shutter to think how many times I’ve given my Self away for the (hoped for) feeling of being wanted more than anything else…. when all I really had to do was want ME, value my Self more than anything else. BE first place in my own life!

Now, I don’t mean the narcissistic, hey look at me kind of self-absorption.

I’m talking about the healthy, self-esteem kind of inner worth that radiates from the inside out.

Being first place in your own life isn’t really valued in our society – especially for women. The religious and cultural training is to put others first and yourself last. But every time I fly on an airplane, I’m reminded that this ain’t necessarily so! In the safety instructions, they always say when the oxygen mask falls, put it on yourself first THEN help the ones around you.

They never say work quickly and help as many people as you can before you pass out.

I’m wondering if perhaps it is part of my mission in life to learn to want my Self more than anything else so that I can teach others how to value themselves more than anything else…..?

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. being wanted and learning to want my Self more than anything else!

-Becky

Ready to Move Forward?

I am ready to move forward in a BIG way.

The last two weeks have been sort of an “incubation” period recuperating from the hellacious fall semester and regrouping for the next one…. And now I’m Ready!

So, with goals in hand, giving me a clear direction of where I want to go in 2006, the first thing I did was hire a coach.

Some of the things I want to accomplish have been on my goals list for years and for one reason or another, I keep letting “life” get in the way of accomplishing them - like being a working, PAID composer!

Several weeks ago I had one of those epiphany moments and realized that all my life, I’ve been waiting for it to magically happen. Sure, I’ve continued to write music and other people know that’s one of the things I do, but the “paid” part of it has been extremely lacking!

And I’m ready to get paid for it!

I have some ideas of how to make that happen. However, history has proven that I can not do it by myself…… and there’s nothing wrong with that. One of the first steps in any kind of change is realizing you need help.

So I called my coach and mentor, Coach Kathy, and said, “I’m ready… let’s get to it!”

How about you? Do you have a clear direction? A specific focus? Do you know where you want to be this time next year?

If you don’t know where you’re going, you will probably end up somewhere else. - Laurence J. Peter

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. choosing a specific path, saddling up for the trip, and taking that first step!

-Becky

P.S. If you’d like help choosing your “path” and setting up your top three goals for 2006, you can get a FREE Goals Report here. It comes with an optional FREE coaching session with Coach Becky :)

Will You Choose Peace?

If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations, there must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities, there must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors, there must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home, there must be peace in the heart.
- Lao-Tse, 5th Century BCE

The holidays can be stressful times with all the traffic, shopping, cooking, planning, traveling.... And when we're busy and under pressure, it's easy to get caught up in the "dance" of reacting. In this dance, tempers may flair, angry words may fly; or feelings or words may be withheld in silence. Neither extreme leads to happy holidays!

If you find yourself reacting, take a deep breath and give yourself an extra moment to choose a different way to respond. There is always another choice. And in the choosing there is power.

Will you choose peace?

If you'd like to read more on "choosing peace," here's a link to the Peace issue of my ezine, Create a Happy 'Tude. Enjoy!

May your holidays be filled with Peace.... in your heart.

Here's to continuing the Journey..... and choosing peace in every moment.

-Becky

Happy Winter Solstice

Tonight will be the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. In the coming days, there will start to be more daylight as the nights grow shorter.

Celebrating this time of growing light in the midst of the winter's darkness, symbolized hope for our ancestors. The Christian Church melded this holiday with it's own celebration of the birth of the Christ Child, also a symbol of light coming into the darkness of the world. (more detailed history here)

However you celebrate the season, take a few moments to stop and reconnect with your highest potential and celebrate the birth of the Light within yourself.

Let go of old resentments and ill feelings toward people who have treated you badly in some way. Let go of whatever is keeping you focused on the past.

Imagine.... what would it feel like to step into 2006 with a clean slate - without any baggage?

As the new year approaches, set an intention to move forward with your dreams, your goals, your life... and make 2006 the best year ever!

To get started, try this Five-Minute Winter Solstice Meditation from Stuart Wilde
(excerpt from his December 15th "A" List Newsletter. To sign up, go to www.stuartwilde.com)

At midnight go outside or stand on a balcony and face north. Take an ice cube
with you in your left hand. And place your right hand on your heart and take
three deep breaths and relax. Then in your mind’s eye, bring up anyone that
you hold rancor or resentment toward - people that have ripped you off or
treated you badly. Bring the first one in your mind’s eye and breath them in
eleven times and as you breath out send them love and wish them well in life,
release them from your energy. Then bring up the next one and so forth until you
are done. Then finally when you are finished, take eleven very special
breaths for yourself; forgive yourself for any shortcomings and vow to become a
better person in this next year. The ice cube is there to remind you of the
freezing cold ambience of hell. And as it melts in your hand it also reminds you
how energy draining are anger, resentment and conflict.

See you at midnight!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... releasing the past and stepping into your full potential.

-Becky

What Temperment Are You?

Just took this test from Blogthings.... some characteristics didn't really fit, but the ones that did were real zingers!! Very revealing.....

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and learning more about yourself everyday!

-Becky

The Secret

Coming in February.... Watch the trailer and spread the word!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and the search for Truth!

-Becky

I'm a Calm and Centered Woman

It's time for the big finish - the rush for the end of the semester.... and the next three weeks are going to put my already overly busy schedule into hyper-overdrive - my private studio students, UAH students, finals, juries, grades due, extra rehearsals, Christmas programs and musicals, special music to prepare..... on top of composition projects, starting up a new business (www.weddingmusicmadeforyou.com) and trying to expand my coaching practice.....

Yesterday morning, thinking about all this and wondering how in the heck I was going to make it through all this without losing my mind (or without falling flat on my face and doing a totally lousing job on everything!) I decided some emergency measures were needed, so I started thinking....

What are my intentions for these next few weeks? What do I really want? How do I want to feel?

• I want to feel a sense of inner peace and calmness - no matter what busy, rushed, chaotic or stressful scenario might be happening around me. I want to be at peace inside myself.
• I want a clear, focused mind as I work on each project and event. I want to be able to make good decisions quickly and be able to work efficiently and effectively. There's no time for dilly-dally or overwhelm. I need razor-sharp focus and a clear mind.
• I want a sense of being grounded and centered, with feet firmly planted on earth, totally involved in each moment. I also want to be open to intuitive guidance and have a sense of connection to spirit, the universe, God, the source of all that is. Sort of "in the world, but not of it" as it says in the Bible.

Cool. However... I knew that in the middle of a stressful moment, I would never in a million years remember all this..... so I started putting it in a more summarized statement - an affirmation that I could easily remember.

And as soon as I started doing that, the "Musical Becky" took over. Here's what I ended up with..... sung to the tune "Another Brick in the Wall" - or at least, the way I remembered it! (it starts at the part where the kids are singing "we don't need no education..." The third phrase is where the "creative remembering" kicked in, so it doesn't match Pink Floyd's version exactly!)

I'm a calm and centered woman; Quick decisions, razorsharp focus; Firmly in the moment while I'm walking with Spirit; Hey, watch me - I can do it all.

Then, of course, I got really carried away singing and dancing and..... well, having a good ol' time.... until I realized I'd used up all my extra time and had to finish getting ready quickly and run out the door.... late again!

But... by golly, do you know what?

That night, after a long busy day, I came home feeling excited and happy. Nothing that great or really exciting happened. It was just a regular day. But for some reason, I felt "on top of the world"!

Same thing happened tonight. Walked in the door feeling happy, excited and "on top of the world"!

Hm.... I wonder.... was it the singing or the dancing that made the difference......??

Here's to continuing the Journey.... singing, dancing.... setting intentions.... and having a jolly ol' time!

-Becky

P.S. I downloaded Pink Floyd's version (part 2) and I'll probably change the 3rd phrase to match his melody (which is way better than my shady memory version!) That would make it something like:

I'm a calm and centered woman; Quick decisions, razorsharp focus; Firmly grounded in the moment; while I'm walking with Spirit; Hey, watch me - I can do it all.

The Apostle's Creed Hymn

It's finally PUBLISHED! Signed the contract November 14, 2001... but who's counting days, months, years...?!

It's in Hope Publishing's new on-line hymnal. Check it out and tell me what you think.

No, really..... please check it out. I see some major problems with their on-line format - one being that they are way too trusting. You can download a copy. But then it's up to the dowloader to come back and fill out the official form to make multiple copies and pay for that priviledge.

There are other on-line catalogues that you can look, listen and print out a page. Some even have the word "sample" encoded in the background. Some you can download the pdf file, but you can't print it. But to be able to print out the whole piece, you pay first. Here are just a few:

• PepperMusic
• SheetMusicDirect
• MusicNotes

When you get a few minutes, please check out Hope Publishing's on-line hymnal and give me some feedback. I think their system has enormous potential for abuse. But I do realize that I am slightly biased! So I'd really like some "outsider" viewpoints before I write them a letter.

Also, they have no mention of any composer for the hymn tune when you click on a hymn to view the lyrics and credits. (I looked at several other selections also. No composer for any of them.) That does not make me happy either.

On the other hand..... I do think it's fascinating that I got this letter (the long awaited for over the past four years letter) that the piece is finally being published after deciding on my new intention to BE a working, money-generating composer.....

Here's to continuing the Journey... setting intentions and then watching in amazement at how eveything falls into place!

-Becky

God's in His Heaven....

Just a few minutes ago I was sitting outside my apartment, enjoying the view of the nearly full moon shining throught the branches of the three that grows between the windows of my apartment and the small city park that is my "back yard," breathing in the cool night air and feeling extremely blessed and excited about life.

This past week, I had a hugh a-ha moment and realized that I'd been waiting on my dream of "writing music and having people pay me for it" to come to me.... I've been waiting on it to just "happen"!

Well.... in 47 years it hasn't "happened " - mainly because I haven't actively and consistently pursued it! I've allowed other things to take away my focus. (... and then I'd find myself in a draining, depressing life situation.... well, duh!!)

I realized this week that if my dream is to be, then it's up to me to make it happen! If I'm going to write music and get paid for it, then I have to set that intention and GO FOR IT!

I've tried taking tangents, beating around the bush and all sorts of other stall tactics, while all the time "wishing" that I had time to write music.... and, of course, that hasn't worked.

This week I realized that I've done everything BUT live my dream... And now there is no other choice.

And that's how intentions are born. In a way, it's like Thelma and Louise... all other choices are gone... this is it.... "feel the fear and do it anyway" ..... there is nothing left to loose....

So. Just for the record, I would like to state that.... (ahem...)

I am a working composer, supporting myself by writing music and getting paid for it through commissions and sales.

(I hear the Angels celebrating... yahoo!)

Stay tuned for more details! In the meantime....

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning, growing, expanding, stepping out... and loving it! God's in his "heaven" and in this moment... all is right with the world!

-Becky

Who Are You?

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.
-- e.e. cummings

I love that quote! It came today in an email I received.

It reminds me of a quote by Mary Hoffman, Childrens Choir Director at Peachtree, who in one of those impromptu, side-track "lecturettes" you get into sometimes while working with children and youth choirs, said....

Who you are is enough....

I think we all struggle at some point in our lives with feelings of inadequacy or not feeling quite good enough. But the truth is, we are plenty good enough. It's just our dwelling on the "lack" that clouds the "plenty" from our view.

In working with this "good enough" issue and trying to figure out who the Real Becky is, over the past few years, I've realized that I've always known who she is.... It's just the "having the courage to grow up," to let go of the fears and feelings of inadequacy part that's kept me from moving forward and embracing her completely.

But I'm making strides and can feel (and see) the Real Becky showing up more and more these days. I also know that whoever I am is enough - whether it's 100% Real Becky or 2% Real Becky. Because either way, it's ME in that moment!

It does take courage to grow up and be who you really are.... and that's why I'm on this Journey. I want to reach my full potential and even go beyond it. I want to make a difference in this world. And I want to help others reach their potential....

And to do that, I have to be 100% Becky - 100% who I really am!

Here's to continuing the Journey... learning about, growing into and becoming who you really are!

-Becky

New Baby, Laundry & Practice

The result of an intention-setting, synchronistic miracle opportunity that just sort of fell into my lap.... it arrived yesterday......

My first Grand Piano!

And of course, DC immediately gave it a thorough going over!

Today was a blast! Sort the laundry and put in the first load, sit down and practice.... put clothes in the dryer, go practice..... realize the dryer stopped awhile ago.... practice just a few more minutes.... an hour later, take a break and do the laundry thing.... sit down and practice some more.... (repeat)....

Yeeeeeee-whooooooo!

Here's to continuing the Journey... and enjoying the miracle of setting intentions!

-Becky

61 Hours

Last night I finally figured out why I'm exhausted all the time......

I'm working five 9 to 12 hour days a week. And that doesn't even count Sunday, which is my shortest work day at 7 hours!

All this makes a whopping grand total of 61 hours, six days a week..... And that's on a good week!

(The past two weeks have NOT been good weeks.)

Then, to make things seem even worse, I did some further analysis.....

• hourly compensation for these fun-filled 61 hours comes to about $15
• only 25 of these hours are spent in actual money-making activities (which includes driving time)
• the other 36 hours are spent in planning, prep, creative brainstorming, admin, practicing, writing, etc all in anticipation of doing the money-making activities

Hm.... something's got to give..... if I can figure out how to whittle down 11 hours, that would give me a 50-hour work week at $18.50 an hour.... (whoo-hoo!! THAT's better!)

There have been two major time gobblers since August. One is the UAH Music Lit class, with an average class prep time of 6 hours (with 2 classes a week, that's 12 hours!!) I'm working on strategies to get that down to 4-6 hours a week. (Keep your fingers crossed!!)

The other time gobbler has been the commissioned piece I've been writing for the Huntsville Brass Band - which is now completed!!!!!!!! (I'm just 'slightly' excited about that!)

I turned in the final version of score and parts last night. The premiere is November 3, Thursday evening, at Trinity United Methodist Church. (Either 7:00 or 7:30, not sure.)

Time spent on it? About 72.5 hours (or more, since I wasn't maticulous about my time-keeping). And if I were going to get paid for it at my current hourly rate of $15 an hour, that time spent would bring in $1087.

Which would actually be pretty cool.... IF it was a paying commission. (I really need to work on the "paying" part of that activity!)

Oh well, great experience.... learned a lot....

((.... now tell me again.... how many more of these do I need to do to get to the paying part?))

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and trying to figure out how to make more money in less time.... or for starters, how to make the SAME money in less time.... that would be good too!

-Becky

That Fuzzy-Brain-Dead Thing

This fall has been non-stop, full-speed-ahead since it began about 3-4 weeks ago!

On top of trying to finish up a commission for the Huntsville Brass Band, (concert November 3 at Trinity), teaching my own students and classes at Water Music Studio, composition students from UAH, and preparing for various concerts and rehearsals at UAH and Trinity, I'm teaching my first "real" class at UAH this semester - Music Liturature.

The class is basically a semester-long study of music - it's history, composers, and their works from the Middle Ages (450) through the 21st Century (today) - for non-musicians. The first unit was all about terms and concepts needed to even discuss music..... Try making that a fun couple of classes for 30-40 accounting, biology, computer and various other science-type majors who are there because they needed the credit hours and this was the only class that would fit in their schedule!!

But somehow, amid the blank stares, yawns and general fumblings of a first-time lecturing classroom teacher, we've made it through the basics, the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, with our first exam on Monday. (For your amusement, you can see class notes and stuff I've set up for them at MU100.)

Some classes have been really good. Most, though, I've walked away feeling rather down about them. It's probably mostly my perfectionism talking.... "You've been teaching for 25 years. You should be able to do this much better than it's all turning out! AND it shouldn't take you 6 or more hours to prepare for one class!"

But, in reality, it does take 6 plus hours - or at least it has been. And I've learned that just because I've done all this preparation doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to feel "prepared" as I walk into class. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

I've also learned that standing up in front of 30-40 students in a classroom is equivilant to standing up and talking in front of a small audience. And just because I've got my outline and know what I want to say.... it doesn't mean I'm going to remember everything or that I'll be clear-headed enough to even follow my outline when I get in front of them.

I don't know which is more frustrating, the fuzzy-brain-dead thing that hits me without rhyme or reason when I enter the classroom, or the 6 plus hours it takes to prepare (and then the fuzzy-brain-dead thing hits anyway)!

I DO know that I can't keep going this way. If it's going to take at least 6 hours to prepare, then I need to budget for that time. Luckily, with Monday's exam already prepared, I can use my next few planning periods to get ahead on the next unit. Also, now that I've discovered more of the on-line teaching resources that are available, I'm going to change the way I prepare for each class.

And best of all, talking to one of my adult private students who does a lot of classroom teaching, he gave me some of great ideas and strategies for presenting the material and keeping the students involved, awake and yawn-free. (Thanks Tim!!)

So - now with renewed hope in the class planning and presentation department, my mind is free to get back to finishing the Brass Band Piece, which had to take a backseat when UAH classes started...... Yipee!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning to juggle projects, speak confidently to groups, and keep that fuzzy-brain-dead thing at bay!

-Becky

I'm Back! (Take 2)

Wow, I haven't written anything here in 19 days! My goodness, how time flies when I can't access the internet 24/7 like I used to be able to do!!

Cable internet. It's not all its cracked up to be! Sometimes I'm on.... sometimes I off.... Seems I just thought I was back 19 days ago!

And it's NOT my computer, by the way. (That seems to be the favorite Cable-Guy default when they can't figure out how to make it all work.) That possible reason was ruled out by my computer tech guru when we eliminated an anti-virus software conflict.

Ah.... unreliability.... it's a real pet-peeve. But now that I've had my 3-minute poopey-time.... I'll get on to what I really wanted to write about.....

Praise for the wonders of internet research!

A friend of mine forwarded one of those if-then chain letters.... you know, the kind that says "send this to ___ people and your life will be ________."

I very rarely forward them. However, I AM an easy prey for quotes.... I LOVE quotes. And this one was full of them - supposidely forwarded by the Anthony Robbins Organizations. It seemed odd to me, though, that a multimillionaire motivational type guy would choose to send a chain letter.... so I went to his site (found through an internet search) and looked around. (I was thinking of putting the quotes here on my blog, but wanted to verify the source first because.... as you know, I AM a sucker for quotes!)

I also want to give accurate information and give credit where credit is due.

There was no mention of the letter on his site, nor could I find any of the quotes from the letter.

SO.... I did an internet search on the first quote from the letter to see if I could find its real owner, but found no one that owned up to saying it. However.... what I did find was fascinating!

There are several websites that list these quotes or a variation of them, along with varying degrees of other quotes as well. Some put their name on it, some attribute it to "unknown", and some leave the by-line completely off, making it look like those words of wisdom came from that website owner/writer's creative pen.

THEN!!

I found the BreaktheChain website! and the TRUTH.... All in less than 10 minutes!

Fascinating!

(It's amazing what a person can do when they can actually get ON the internet! :)

Anyway.... I'm sure you're just squiggling in your chair to find out what the heck are these quotes that I'm talking about!

So, I'll start with the chain letter site so you can see the original letter in question, then give the other sites I looked at. Happy quote reading....

Oh yes, the search was made on this quote (which I still don't know where it originated):

Give people more than they expect

and do it cheerfully.

Here's the links:

• http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/lotustotus.html
• http://www.dellwyn.com/thoughts/21_thoughts.html
• http://www.hoodiadietproducts.com/Inspirational/a/25.htm
• http://www.icnc.org/scratchpad/a152.htm
• http://www.therapeuticadventures.com/inspiration.htm (scroll down to "Life's Little Instructions for Life")
• http://www.yogakingdom.com/wisdom/instructions.html
• http://www.storytellers.net/new/gdluckttm.htm

(and that was only a few pages into the search findings!)

I feel I must add this disclaimer.... I am not faulting anyone for spreading motivating or inspiring words, or for passing along quotes of any kind. I'm just a stickler for wanting to know the source. Maybe it's the composer and teacher in me coming out. But I've always been very careful about giving credit when I've used other people's ideas.....

..... At least since 10th grade.... hm..... I just now realized where all this stickler-ish-ness is coming from.... the ONE time I did not pass the credit along to the true owner.... all because I was too shy to speak up....

Been feeling guilty ever since.....

Wow. Guess I'll go do some hail Mary's or count some rosery beads... or better yet, do some tapping (EFT - an amazing technique for clearing out unclaimed baggage!)

Here's to continuing the Journey... searching, finding, and discovering buried issues to clear! Whoo-who, ain't life grand!

-Becky

I'm Back!

I have not been able to get on the internet since July 30. It's only been nine days, but it feels like nine years!

It doesn't make sense why this happened.... I changed hosting companies for my websites, got the new email set up, then poof! No more internet access - yet I was able to continue sending and receiving emails...?

But thanks to the magical handiwork of Matt at Appleberry Technologies, I'm now back on-line!

Thank you, Matt!!

Here's to continuing the Journey... on-line and off!

-Becky