Wanted More Than Anything Else

I’ve been reading Debbie Ford’s book, The Best Year of Your Life. She talks about how we are all “chasing” some feeling – how everything we do, every action we take (or don’t take) is ultimately done because of how we think it will make us feel.

This feeling thing not a new concept. It’s actually been around for thousands of years, as Gregg Braden discovered when he helped translate the Isaiah Scrolls. The scrolls talk about a mode of prayer that has been forgotten through the centuries. In The Isaiah Effect, he explains how this lost mode of prayer – the one that creates miracles in our lives – is praying with the feeling that the prayer has already been answered.

Medical research is now proving that how we feel about ourselves, our experiences, our world, has a direct affect on our bodies. Cell biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton states that in our evolution from single-celled beings to multi-cellular beings, our brains developed a two-way system of communicating with this “community” of cells. This two-way communication system is our emotions, i.e. our feelings. Emotions color our perception, which shapes our experience of the world around us. The reverse is also true, in that how we perceive our life experiences has a great impact on the emotions we feel. And as he explains in The Biology of Belief, our perceptions stem from our beliefs.

But…. I digress….

As for beliefs…. Being adopted as a young toddler, I’ve always had an “I’m not wanted” issue (i.e. limiting belief). I realized that the feeling I’ve been “chasing” most of my life has been the feeling of being adored, cherished and wanted... or rather, not just wanted, but wanted more than anything else!

My epiphany this morning was the realization that all these years…. I haven’t wanted myself more than anything else either! (duh!)

I shutter to think how many times I’ve given my Self away for the (hoped for) feeling of being wanted more than anything else…. when all I really had to do was want ME, value my Self more than anything else. BE first place in my own life!

Now, I don’t mean the narcissistic, hey look at me kind of self-absorption.

I’m talking about the healthy, self-esteem kind of inner worth that radiates from the inside out.

Being first place in your own life isn’t really valued in our society – especially for women. The religious and cultural training is to put others first and yourself last. But every time I fly on an airplane, I’m reminded that this ain’t necessarily so! In the safety instructions, they always say when the oxygen mask falls, put it on yourself first THEN help the ones around you.

They never say work quickly and help as many people as you can before you pass out.

I’m wondering if perhaps it is part of my mission in life to learn to want my Self more than anything else so that I can teach others how to value themselves more than anything else…..?

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. being wanted and learning to want my Self more than anything else!

-Becky