Saturday, September 17, 2005

That Fuzzy-Brain-Dead Thing

This fall has been non-stop, full-speed-ahead since it began about 3-4 weeks ago!

On top of trying to finish up a commission for the Huntsville Brass Band, (concert November 3 at Trinity), teaching my own students and classes at Water Music Studio, composition students from UAH, and preparing for various concerts and rehearsals at UAH and Trinity, I'm teaching my first "real" class at UAH this semester - Music Liturature.

The class is basically a semester-long study of music - it's history, composers, and their works from the Middle Ages (450) through the 21st Century (today) - for non-musicians. The first unit was all about terms and concepts needed to even discuss music..... Try making that a fun couple of classes for 30-40 accounting, biology, computer and various other science-type majors who are there because they needed the credit hours and this was the only class that would fit in their schedule!!

But somehow, amid the blank stares, yawns and general fumblings of a first-time lecturing classroom teacher, we've made it through the basics, the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, with our first exam on Monday. (For your amusement, you can see class notes and stuff I've set up for them at MU100.)

Some classes have been really good. Most, though, I've walked away feeling rather down about them. It's probably mostly my perfectionism talking.... "You've been teaching for 25 years. You should be able to do this much better than it's all turning out! AND it shouldn't take you 6 or more hours to prepare for one class!"

But, in reality, it does take 6 plus hours - or at least it has been. And I've learned that just because I've done all this preparation doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to feel "prepared" as I walk into class. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

I've also learned that standing up in front of 30-40 students in a classroom is equivilant to standing up and talking in front of a small audience. And just because I've got my outline and know what I want to say.... it doesn't mean I'm going to remember everything or that I'll be clear-headed enough to even follow my outline when I get in front of them.

I don't know which is more frustrating, the fuzzy-brain-dead thing that hits me without rhyme or reason when I enter the classroom, or the 6 plus hours it takes to prepare (and then the fuzzy-brain-dead thing hits anyway)!

I DO know that I can't keep going this way. If it's going to take at least 6 hours to prepare, then I need to budget for that time. Luckily, with Monday's exam already prepared, I can use my next few planning periods to get ahead on the next unit. Also, now that I've discovered more of the on-line teaching resources that are available, I'm going to change the way I prepare for each class.

And best of all, talking to one of my adult private students who does a lot of classroom teaching, he gave me some of great ideas and strategies for presenting the material and keeping the students involved, awake and yawn-free. (Thanks Tim!!)

So - now with renewed hope in the class planning and presentation department, my mind is free to get back to finishing the Brass Band Piece, which had to take a backseat when UAH classes started...... Yipee!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning to juggle projects, speak confidently to groups, and keep that fuzzy-brain-dead thing at bay!

-Becky

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