Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Asking, Receiving, Confessing and Clearing

Sunday morning (during church…. sorry!...) I was brainstorming on Gratitude – the theme for the AGO Lenten Concert I’m giving on March 16 (at Trinity UMC).

Several things from the morning’s service sparked me on…. Here are some of the phrases that caught my ear along with my interpretations or “musings” on them…..

From the Gospel lesson – the story of people lifting the crippled man on his cot and lowering him down to Jesus through the roof.…  he “saw their faith.”

They expected a blessing and were determined to get it. They “believed” and then put action behind it!

How many times have we only “wished” for something but chose to have a “pity party” instead of actually DOING something about it?

And from the Epistle reading – one of Paul’s letters to Corinth explaining that when God says “yes” he means “yes,” and that he will “fulfill all his promises.”

I’m reminded of another passage that says something like “… it is his good pleasure to give us the Kingdom of God.” And also the one, “ask and ye shall receive.” Then, in the metaphysical world, there’s the teaching/belief that the universe always says “yes!” to our thoughts – no matter what they are.

I believe the “kingdom of God” is a place of inner peace and joy. And that the “asking” for what we want implies an attitude of hope with a sense of “letting go” and trusting that we will be given what we’ve asked for – or something better!

To me, the ultimate goal or purpose of our lives is to be in unity with God (the Universe, Spirit….. or whatever you choose to call this Higher Power that keeps all the planets from running into each other!) And we are to be in unity within ourselves.

How many times have we said “yes” but really meant “maybe” or “I’m really not sure, but I’ll just go along for now” or even “no, I really do not want to do that but I’m too ______ (you fill in the blank) to stand up and say NO.”

But I’m really just lecturing myself this morning….

To make a long story short… I’m giving a 2nd How Much Joy workshop this Saturday – this time charging a fee – which seems to have brought up all my money issues!

As my coach put it, we’ve inherited this “I want you to give me money, but don’t really give me any money” kind of mental conflict from depression era and post-depression era parents.

Then you put all that on top of multiple variations of “I’m not worthy”….. and you get…. Well, you get one official registration and two maybes for Saturday’s workshop so far.

Which is not enough to pay the rent.

I do also believe that there is an infinite supply of money or anything/everything because, when you get down to it, it’s all energy!

So… to help unclog the flow I’ve just completed a financial “obligation” that I started a year ago…. which is a little embarrassing to confess to….

Last January I offered a special 3-session coaching package (hoping to get new clients) and said that I would donate that entire fee to Tsunami Relief.

There was only one “taker” to this offer. I held his check for a long time, hoping for others, but then finally deposited it. Then… unfortunately, I forgot about it. Through most of last year I could have completed my part of the bargain and transferred the money to Tsunami Relief without a negative financial impact. (Except for the summer months, but that’s another story.)

Now however…. the finances “appear” to be on the tight side again – which is why I’m finally getting around to giving these workshops that I’ve wanted to do for several years now!

But…. this “obligation” has kept coming to my mind for the past several weeks….

Knowing that this money thing is a circular flowing stream of energy, I am trying to unclog the energetic “dam” I’ve created by confessing my “sin” and acknowledging that I have now forwarded the money to Tsunami Relief…. And I am officially “asking” for more than enough money to pay rent and other financial obligations in March.

Aaaaahhhhhhhh…. (deep breath)…. Thank you very much.

Here’s to continuing the Journey… asking, receiving, confessing and clearing the way for financial abundance….


Monday, February 20, 2006


The ability to separate things into little boxes so they can be dealt with one at a time.” (a Bw definition)

I’ve never really been good at that. But I know lots of men who do it automatically.

So does that make it a “male trait” or just a left brain activity?

Whatever it is, I need a big dose of it to get through the next few months! I’ve got projects, events and concerts out the ying-yang! (You can see just a few of them on the Current Events List I put up this weekend. And these don’t even count the two new websites I’m working on: Affirmation Songs & a Wedding Music Commission site.)

The main problem is that when I finally get going on a project, I don’t want to stop. It’s sort of an all-or-nothing characteristic which seems to show up in multiple areas in my life.

The other challenge is that most of my projects are not the sit-down-one-time-do-it-then-it’s-over type activity. And with different amounts of time each day to devote to these projects, I can’t really assign them to their own day either…..

What’s a right-brained girl to do?

Hm… guess the first step would be to go get a shower and figure out what to start on first!

Here’s to continuing the Journey… and trying to get a grip on all these boxes!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Are You Brave Enough to Love 100%?

Many times in relationships we hold back a tiny piece of our heart, our inner self, because we’re afraid of being disappointed or betrayed or even abandoned.

So we don’t give 100% commitment or energy to our relationship.

What sort of beliefs might we have that cause us to be so afraid of loving wholeheartedly? What beliefs cause us to tolerate unloving situations or to settle for less than what we need in our love relationships?

A good way to begin to explore these questions is to look at your self-talk – your mind chatter. Are you saying things like “I’m not smart enough, sexy enough, deep enough, pretty enough, etc?” Or is it that you think you’re just not enough – Period!

Are there old resentments or regrets holding you back or stealing your energy? Is there an old flame or other unfinished relationship from the past that needs closure?

Take some time today and ponder the question:

Are you brave enough to love 100%?

And if you are, try this Recommitment Exercise.
(This exercise and the idea for today’s post is adapted from this week’s edition of Debbie Ford’s Newsletter -

  1. Write down your beliefs about love. If you’re in a relationship, what excuses do you tell yourself about not giving 100%? If you’re not in a relationship, what do you tell yourself about why you’re not? What fears come up for you? What gets in the way? Write it all down.

  2. Then say good-bye to the whole list. Burn it or shred it and toss it to the wind letting it be the “fertilizer for your future loves.”

  3. Ask yourself what you need to learn from all this. What lessons about love can you learn from your past? Maybe you need to make your requests more clear. Or you need to be more discerning. Is time the problem? Do you need to make more time for yourself or more time alone with your partner? Do you have the courage to your partner for the love you need?

  4. Put up reminders of your recommitment to love. Put up inspiring quotes about love or pictures of people who represent love to you. A great way to remember new intentions or commitments is to turn them into little songs. It makes them easy to remember and it gets your whole body involved when you sing them. (See

  5. Everyday pray about love. Ask for help remembering to love - to see love and to give love. Ask for guidance to know your next in the evolution of your own heart.

  6. Give thanks for the love that’s in your life right now. Even if you’re not currently in a personal love relationship, look at the ways love shows up in your life – a smile from a stranger, the purr of a kitten or love licks from a puppy, the laughter of children, the camaraderie between friends or co-workers. Notice what makes you smile or brings that warm fuzzy feeling to your heart. Take a deep breath and give thanks that you are alive and well. Gratitude is the twin sister of love. You can’t have one without the other!

Here’s to continuing the Journey… learning and growing and celebrating all the love in our lives!


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Energy Drains and Unresolved Projects

Following Debbie Ford’s lead in her book, The Best Year of Your Life, I determined that these two qualities are the ones I need to make this year the ‘best year of my life’:
  • Self-discipline

  • Razor-sharp focus

However, working from home comes with its own bundle of self-discipline and staying-focused challenges. Then you add to that my reoccurring tendency to:
  • put too much on my plate

  • get overwhelmed

  • take a ‘regroup’ nap

  • finally get started on a project

  • then it’s time to go to an outside appointment

This morning I woke up feeling very foggy, sluggish and scattered – which is a surprise considering that yesterday I had a great day keeping focused and on task. I was really looking forward to doing the same today.

Going through my list of projects at breakfast, trying to get out of the fog and get some energy going, I came up with about 8 hours of action steps that needed to be done. Then I counted the number of hours I have available before going to teach and rehearsals tonight….

There were only 4.5 hours available. (Even thought I got up at 6:00 a.m., taking that ‘regroup’ nap right after coffee and playing with DC (my kitty) set me back a few hours!)

So as I went through the list again, determining which things could wait and which absolutely needed to be done…. Then it hit me…

Unresolved projects drain my energy.

I already know that when I’m working on something and get hung up because of waiting on a decision or feedback from someone else that hasn’t come back in a my-timely fashion, it can really derail me.

Same thing happens when I’m in the middle of a movie and have to stop watching it. I get antsy and pre-occupied with it. (Getting hooked on the show ‘24’ will either cure me of this or drive me insane!)

This happens when I’m in the middle of a project too – especially a composition project.

(Is it even possible for a right-brained circular thinker to learn to ‘compartmentalize’?)

Anyway… I realized that there were two things on my to-do list that were ‘unresolved.’ One I’m waiting on critical feedback from another person. (This project has been unresolved for about two years, going through many attempts to reach the finish line. This is a newly resurrected attempt.)

The other unresolved project is waiting on me! Because I keep putting it off. (It’s a left-brained detail activity that always seems to take way more time than it should!)

Energy drains make it hard to focus.

The ‘waiting for feedback’ project is out of my control. So I have to let that one go. The other, however, IS in my control. So guess I’ll do that one next. AND just so it doesn’t take all of my time this morning, I’ll set a timer to only work on it only one hour. It’s not critical that I finish it today. But it IS critical that I at least get started on it to give it some momentum and give me some energy-drain relief!

Scheduling a couple of projects to do after that hour – ones that absolutely MUST be done today will help motivate the ‘self-discipline’ quality to take charge when the hour timer goes off.

…. That’s my plan for today anyway….

Here’s to continuing the Journey…. and trying to get a handle on the energy drains that steal your focus.