What technique do you use to quit worrying?

A client ask me this question recently, so I thought I'd answer it here....

First, let's define worry:

"to feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled"

" to cause to feel anxious, distressed, or troubled"

"persistent mental uneasiness"

(answers.com)

Basically, worry is a form a fear.... worry, concern, fear are all synonyms. And they all stem from a feeling of not being in control, or a lack of trust, or for some reason you do not feel safe.

The antidote to worry is trust.

But how do you get to a trusting place when you're mind is filled with worry thoughts?

Like reaching any goal, you begin one step at a time.

The first step is willingness. You have to be willing to release the worry thoughts and let them go. Ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how willing are you to let this worry go? If you're not 100% willing to let it go, look underneath to see what benefit you're getting for keeping this worry. There's always a pay off, even if it's just a perceived pay off.

The second step, you have to be willing to trust - trust that there is a Higher Power at work for your Highest Good... Trust that the Universe is FOR you. Trust that it is on your side, always giving you exactly what you need when you need it. Remind yourself, "this too shall pass." Be willing to trust that you are safe, loved, and cared for.

The third step is to spend time in self-reflection. Look underneath the worry thoughts. What's the real underlying concern? What's really troubling you?

You'll most likely find that it's some sort of fear, as I said earlier - fear of not being in control, lack of trust, not feeling safe, or perhaps a combination of these. You must uncover what it is for you.

Here is an exercise to help get to the root of your worry thoughts:

• Make a quick list of the things you are worried or concerned about.
  
• For each worry/concern on your list, write the sentence below and finish it with the first thing that comes to your mind. No judging or editing, just write quickly. Use the word "worried" or "concerned" as it seems best to you.

"I am worried/concerned about __________ because....." (you finish the sentence)

• If you need to write several sentences to "get it all out" that's fine. The main thing is to get all that worrying out of your head and on to the paper. Do this for each of the worry/concerns on your list.
  
• Now, go back and review what you have written. Note any repeated words or themes or Freudian slips. Can any of these be sorted into categories? i.e. family, work, health, etc? Do they seem to point to one major theme or are there several? Do the worries/concerns seem to be more of a control issue, a trust issue, or a safety issue?
  
• After you have analyzed your writings, write a short summary statement about it. For example, "My biggest concern is...." or "I am most worried about...." Note which category best fits: control, trust, or safety.
  
• Now, turn that statement into a positive affirmation. Your statement should be short, to the point, and easy to remember. Here are some examples to get you started:

" I love myself and take care of my body."

"I love and appreciate myself and allow others to be who they are."

" I trust in the flow of life."

"I am one with God and I am safe."

"I now choose to be happy. All is well."

"I do what I can to change _______ (fill in with your situation/worry) and let the rest go."

"The God-Power within me is greater than any obstacle before me." (or you could name your specific concern)

Once you have your positive affirmation, there are several ways to use it. (I would recommend working with only one statement at a time for now.

Here are a few of ways to work with those affirmations:

JOURNALING TECHNIQUE

Write the affirmation down 30 times each day for 30 days. Write quickly, saying the words to yourself or out loud as you write them. Write fast so that your conscious mind has no time to interject it's "yeah-but" opinion. The act of writing fast helps to access the subconscious mind, so in essence, you are "planting" this positive thought into your subconscious as you write.

Every other day as you write your statement, and those times when the "yeah-buts" are strong, add a "garbage column." Write your affirmation, then immediately write whatever comes to you. You may get things like: "yeah, right" "that will be the day" "you must be kidding" "you don't deserve that" "who do you think you are" "not in this life time".... you get the picture. The point is to get those garbage thoughts out of your consciousness! If you don't, they will manifest in some self-sabotaging way.

After you've written your 30 statements, each with the garbage statement, go back and read the garbage column and see if there are any patterns or themes. Think back to earlier times in your life... where did these limiting thoughts originate? Who's voice is saying these things? (A parent or some other authority figure, a relative, or someone else you know?) How has this thought been a pattern in your life?

MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL

Say your positive affirmation while looking at yourself in a mirror. Look directly into your eyes and speak from your heart. Say your statement out loud at least 10 times. You are affirming to yourself this is true. Say it as you would to a little child, directly and with passion. Don't allow yourself to look away. Keep your eyes directed at your reflection as you speak these truths to yourself.

Do this every morning as you get ready for your day and every night before you go to bed.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

Every time you go by a window or even while driving in your car, shout out your affirmation of truth to the world. Preface it with "here ye, here ye." Pretend you are the town crier spreading the good news!

"Here ye, here ye! I, (state your name) am now...... (fill in with your affirmation)."

For even more power, try saying it in all three persons:

first person: "I, (state your name) am..."

second person: "You, (state your name) are..."

third person: "(your name)" is..."

Have fun with it! You never know, it may just make you laugh and forget all about your worries!! :)

Here's to continuing the journey... letting go of worry... embracing Trust... and spreading the "good news" about YOU!

-Becky