Guilt - How are You Using it?

Guilt is an irresponsible choice. As long as you feel guilty about whatever you've done, then you don't have to do anything to correct it.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

We all have our own sense of 'right' and 'wrong' which is built from childhood experiences, teachings from parents, teachers, religious organizations, as well as our own personal study and musings. Lumped together in one category, it becomes our 'belief system.'

When we do something that violates this belief system, we feel guilty. Peter McWilliams, in his book DO IT! defines guilt as "the anger we feel toward ourselves when we do something 'wrong'."

Trouble is, however, most of us have not sat down to really evaulate our 'rights' and 'wrongs.' And even if we have, we have a tendency to feel guilty for things we don't necessarily think are wrong.

Guilt becomes a habit. Even when we know it's a waste of time, we feel it anyway. Then we feel guilty about that! And if that's not enough, when we've blamed ourselves to death, we find something or someone else to blame. At that point we start chanting various forms of "The devil made me do it."

Avoidance is the outcome of guilt. We either vow to not do that 'offending' thing again, or we promise ourselves to avoid the person, situation or thing, etc that 'caused' our 'downfall.'

Either way, it's an irresponsible choice. It lets us off the hook for taking responsibility and it leaves us wallowing in 'poor me' thinking.

But what if we used guilt in a more healthy way?

Guilt is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.... The gift of anger, however, is the physical, mental and emotional strength to make change.

- Peter McWilliams, DO IT!

Most of us are trained to use anger as a tool for blame and feeling bad. But what if we actually used it as a tool for taking responsibility?

What if, when we feel guilty about something in the past, we used that guilt energy to make amends and clean things up?

What if, when we feel guilty about something in the future, we used that guilt energy to not do the thing, or to do it if it's guilt over a potential omission.

What if, when we feel guilty and there's nothing we can do, we used that guilt energy to change the belief about the aweful thing we did. (Bear in mind here, that I'm not talking about guilt over actions that cause physical harm to others or to yourself, like fighting, child, abuse, drug or alcohol abuse, stealing, etc. I'm refering to guilt that violates a self-established comfort zone built on a limiting belief system.)

The guilt habit is deeply instilled in our psyche. Changing it takes a lot of energy and perserverance.

However, because the anger of guilt comes with a lot of energy, there's a lot of energy available to redirect it. It's just a matter of remembering to refocus that energy toward change instead of blame.

And that takes practice.... remembering to refocus and redirect the energy over and over and over....

Which is what the "Journey" is all about!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning how to redirect our focus and turn guilt into the energy for personal change!

-Becky