How to Behave in an Elevator

1. Face forward.
2. Fold hands in front.
3. Do not make eye contact.
4. Watch the numbers.
5. Don't talk to anyone you don't know.
6. Stop talking with anyone you do know when anyone you don't know enters the elevator.
7. Avoid brushing bodies.

- Layne Longfellow

No one ever said to me, "Now, Becky. This is how you ride an elevator." But somehow I got the message.

And even knowing from experience that when I get on an elevator and push the number for the floor I'm going to, the elevator will dutifully stop on that floor and open the door for me. I know there's really no need to WATCH the numbers to make sure it happens.

Yet I find myself doing it instinctively.

I also tend to stop talking to someone I know - even if we're in the elevator alone. This is mostly because I'm concentrating so hard on watching those numbers to make sure they're moving in the correct direction!

Several years ago in downtown Atlanta, while taking a paralegal course in a large multi-story building, a childhood friend, whom I had not seen in about 20 years, put his hand on my shoulder in a crowded elevator I'd just gotten on. I turned my head to look in the direction of the hand and did the jaw-drop, eyes-wide-open expression of pleasant surprise.

However, while I was speechlessly fighting the "rules" in my head (face forward, no eye contact, watch the numbers, don't talk) the 10 second window of opportunity to reconnect was over. The door opened to his floor and he walked out of the elevator.... and I never saw him again.

An opportunity to connect with another human being lost. I wonder how many other opporunities I've missed and not even realized it.... all because of social conditioning....

Some rules ARE made to be broken.

Here's to continuing the Journey... breaking the rules of social convention and having the audacity to connect with another person... no matter where I am!

-Becky

Dare to Be the Fool

Happy New Year... I mean... Happy April Fool's Day!

Back before the Gregorian calendar became the official calendar, April 1st was considered to be the first day of the year. But everybody didn't get the word right away, or either refused to believe it entirely. These "traditionalists" continued to celebrate the New Year's Day on April 1 instead of January 1, and the "modernists" would make fun of them by sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to get them to believe something that was not true. (Find out more history here: April Fools Day)

The April edition of my newsletter, Create a Happy 'Tude, is about getting out of the "comfort zone". That habitual place of seeming safety we tend to stay in because we don't want to feel "uncomfortable" or look "foolish."

For starters, I invite my readers to go beyond the usual, 'comfortable' meaning of the word "fool" - and think deeper. What if the "fool" represents a carefree spirit able to step out into the unknown - i.e. out of their comfort zone - without fear or caution.... Like the little boy in The Emperor's New Clothes who, in childlike wisdom, spoke up and said, "Hey wait a minute, I'm not buying all this polite adult comfort zone stuff. The guy is prancing around in his 'birthday suit'!"

Here's to continuing the Journey.... speaking up, speaking out.... daring to be the fool!

-Becky

To Be Authentic, Follow Your Bliss

You can't be authentic unless you're following your bliss.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

Translation:
You can't claim origin or authorship of your life unless you're going in the direction of that which puts you in a state of extreme happiness or spiritual joy.

In other words:
If you're trying to live by someone else's rules, someone else's expectations, someone else's belief system, etc, you're not being YOU. Living this way will never bring you true happiness.

However, the bottom line is:
In order to BE YOU, you have to know WHO you are.... And that means spending some time with your Self and finding the answers to these questions:

• Who am I?
• What do I want?

Since finishing grad school nearly two years ago, I have been wrestling with these questions and doing some major soul searching about my life and what I'm supposed to be doing with it. And in a lot of ways, this past month feels like its been a big test - like a final, comprehensive exam of my whole life!

One month ago, the end of February, I had finally come to a decision about what I wanted for my life. However, it was a bit tentative and I was still questioning whether I'd chosen the right path or not. So I asked for divine guidance.....

What I learned was that asking for 'divine guidance' is about the same as asking for 'patience'.... Don't ask for it unless you've got your seatbelt fastened and are ready for a wild ride!

Because what you get is a whole bunch of life experiences that offer you the opportunity to BE patient..... Or in my case, a surprise offer that made me question, re-think and re-evaluate my previous answers to: Why am I here? What's my purpose? and What the heck do I really want?

This re-evaluation process also gave me opportunities to 'speak my Truth'. And that's one of the key ingredients in my previous evaulations that had been missing. It's one thing to mull things over in your head, looking at different options and possibilities, but until you 'try on' different scenerios and situations to see how they feel, it's all just ideas floating around in your head.

When you speak the words out loud, it you gives a circular, whole-body kind of experience - you say it, you hear it and you interpret or digest it. Having a support partner for this is critical.... And I had several - to whom I am eternally grateful!

Basically, I'm back to "plan A". Except now I have a clearer picture of where I want to go and a stronger sense of "ownership" and knowing that "yes, this is the real, authentic Me."

Here's to continuing the Journey... and finding clarity and support on the road to blissful authenticity!

-Becky

Need help knowing who you are and what you want? Try these resources:

Free Enneagram Test - based on an ancient system, discover which of the nine personality archetypes you fall under (site also has a comprehensive Enneagram FAQ)

Free Happiness Quiz - score your happiness level in 11 different areas of your life

Choosing Happiness - The First Step - a three-session starter coaching program designed for Happiness Quiz participants who are ready to begin the journey toward 'authentic bliss'

20 personal development and spiritual growth programs at Higher Awareness - a wonderful collection of programs to help you know and grow yourself

Guilt - How are You Using it?

Guilt is an irresponsible choice. As long as you feel guilty about whatever you've done, then you don't have to do anything to correct it.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

We all have our own sense of 'right' and 'wrong' which is built from childhood experiences, teachings from parents, teachers, religious organizations, as well as our own personal study and musings. Lumped together in one category, it becomes our 'belief system.'

When we do something that violates this belief system, we feel guilty. Peter McWilliams, in his book DO IT! defines guilt as "the anger we feel toward ourselves when we do something 'wrong'."

Trouble is, however, most of us have not sat down to really evaulate our 'rights' and 'wrongs.' And even if we have, we have a tendency to feel guilty for things we don't necessarily think are wrong.

Guilt becomes a habit. Even when we know it's a waste of time, we feel it anyway. Then we feel guilty about that! And if that's not enough, when we've blamed ourselves to death, we find something or someone else to blame. At that point we start chanting various forms of "The devil made me do it."

Avoidance is the outcome of guilt. We either vow to not do that 'offending' thing again, or we promise ourselves to avoid the person, situation or thing, etc that 'caused' our 'downfall.'

Either way, it's an irresponsible choice. It lets us off the hook for taking responsibility and it leaves us wallowing in 'poor me' thinking.

But what if we used guilt in a more healthy way?

Guilt is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.... The gift of anger, however, is the physical, mental and emotional strength to make change.

- Peter McWilliams, DO IT!

Most of us are trained to use anger as a tool for blame and feeling bad. But what if we actually used it as a tool for taking responsibility?

What if, when we feel guilty about something in the past, we used that guilt energy to make amends and clean things up?

What if, when we feel guilty about something in the future, we used that guilt energy to not do the thing, or to do it if it's guilt over a potential omission.

What if, when we feel guilty and there's nothing we can do, we used that guilt energy to change the belief about the aweful thing we did. (Bear in mind here, that I'm not talking about guilt over actions that cause physical harm to others or to yourself, like fighting, child, abuse, drug or alcohol abuse, stealing, etc. I'm refering to guilt that violates a self-established comfort zone built on a limiting belief system.)

The guilt habit is deeply instilled in our psyche. Changing it takes a lot of energy and perserverance.

However, because the anger of guilt comes with a lot of energy, there's a lot of energy available to redirect it. It's just a matter of remembering to refocus that energy toward change instead of blame.

And that takes practice.... remembering to refocus and redirect the energy over and over and over....

Which is what the "Journey" is all about!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning how to redirect our focus and turn guilt into the energy for personal change!

-Becky

Inner Knowing

When you know rather than doubt, you will discover the necessary ability to carry out your purpose.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

Here's the scene:

Accounting class - second semester, mid-semester test due back today. In walks the student - a musician, late 20's, slight 'attitude'.

Waiting anxiously for the test results, she thinks, "I'm pretty sure I did okay. I was familiar enough with the terms and concepts. Besides, it was multiple choice, how hard can that be!"

Finally, it's her turn. The teacher hands her the graded test, folded over so others can't see. She opens it up and looks....

"F"

She is shocked. Devastated.

Problem?

It's in the "familiar enough with the terms and concepts" part. Being "familiar" with something is not the same as "knowing" something.*

When you really know something, you are able to express it to another person in words - whether on a test or in a conversation. It involves a 3-part integration process: absorb the facts/concepts, digest the information, then speak it out in your own words. This process solidifies the knowing. Up until that point it's just reciting or memorization.

What does all this have to do with today's quote?

• Knowing = certainty
• Doubt = uncertainty

When you get past the "absorb" and "digestion" stages of uncertainty and indecision, and begin to move into the knowing, where you can speak your truth with confidence, then all of heaven will work to synchronistically move you toward your intended destination.

Doubt is the beginning and the end of our efforts to know.

- Sir W. Hamlton

Here's to continuing the Journey... learning to let go of doubt and move into the knowing, where miracles happen!

-Becky

(* Why in the world she was taking Accounting II in the first place is another story for another day!)

Abundance of the Heart

Against All Odds,
originally uploaded by bwaters.

Doing something you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

The key to understanding this "cornerstone" is found in the definitions of abundance and doing.

To me, abundance signifies more than just money. It encompasses our thoughts, our feelings, our attitudes and in a very real way, the essence of who we are.

Checking in with Webster and his 1989 edition of the Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, this definition called out to me:

abundance - overflowing fullness: Abundance of the heart.

Abundance of the heart.... The only way I know to get there is to be in love with life. And the only way I know to being in love with life, is to fill your life with the things you love! People, projects, work, objects, activities.... everything!

And all of these life aspects are embodied in the "doing" this quote refers to.

However, before you can get to the doing, you have to look at the being - the human being - which brings me to these important questions:

• How can you know what it is you love if you never ask?
• How can you know what fills your heart if you never notice?
• How can you know who you really are - your essence - if you never spend quality time with YOU?

Once you know who you are and what makes your heart overflow in its fullness, only then can you begin to create a life of abundance.

And often, I have found, going in the direction of your abundance is very different from what other people think your 'abundant direction' should be!

That's why this picture, Against All Odds, speaks to me so loudly. (Click on the image or the title to read the description and see a larger version.)

This picture also reminds me of the 'defiant attitude' in the song, I Will Survive, recorded by Gloria Gaynor:

I will survive - as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive; I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give and I'll survive; I will survive.

Here's to continuing the Journey... and having the courage to be who you are and do what you love... against all odds!

-Becky

PS. I have always believed that if you hear something three times, it's a message from God and you really need to listen. I would like to thank my three recent "messengers" (Stephen, Tim and Paul) for their comments and encouragement yesterday and today. In my struggles to listen to my own essence and move forward in my own 'abundant direction,' your words have given me a second wind to keep on keeping on! Thank you!

Are You Weakened or Empowered?

Being against something weakens you, while being for something empowers you.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

It is said that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

In the same way, it takes a lot of energy to be against something. Through the years, many people have put lots of effort into fighting crime, fighting drugs, being against war, against abortion, resisting this, resisting that....

And the result is ....?

What about those people in your life you continually butt heads with. I know there's a few in my life! How has resisting, fighting or being against them made things better for you?

If you're like me, it's only brought you more of the same frustration. And how "empowering" does that feel?!

Truth is, what we focus on grows. You focus on frustration, you get more frustration. You focus on your resistance or fear or hatred of something or someone.... you get more opportunities to resist, be afraid and hate.

So, how do you turn it around? How do you start being for something so that you can start feeling empowered?

It begins with letting go, or at least being willing to let go.... letting go of the resistance, the fear, the hatred, the need to be right, the need to control.... letting go of the emotional investment in whatever it is you are against.

And it continues in each moment - each "now" - in the willingness of your heart to choose peace instead of fear, peace instead of resistance, peace instead of anger... peace instead of whatever negative emotion you are experiencing.

A great way to anchor in your new choice is to take a deep breath and put your attention on something that makes you smile. (If you're way into the negative emotion, then make yourself smile - even if it's fake!) Then, carry this thought with you throughout the day.

And remember, it never hurts to ask for help - divine or human!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... choosing to be empowered instead of weakened, for instead of against.

-Becky

Going Beyond Enslavement, Living in the Now

Your lifetime in form is to be honored and celebrated. Go beyond your enslavement and live fully in the now, the only time you have.

- Wayne Dyer, Staying on the Path

Well... these are definitely words I need to hear today!

How much time have I wasted living in the past, wishing things were different, wallowing in 'poor me' or just living unconsciously, going through the motions, not really engaged in what I was doing or in the people around me?

Way too much!

In Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now, he reminds us that we are not bound by our "life situation" and that in the moment that is right NOW, we have the power to either change it, or let it go.

In any given moment of upset, he suggests that we ask ourselves this question:

Can I do something about this right now?

If the answer is yes, then go do it! If the answer is no, then let it go and put it out of your thoughts.

As long as our thoughts are pre-occupied or consumed by troubles, dislikes or uncertainties around our life situation, we are enslaved. And in this enslavement, we cannot fully honor and celebrate the now moments of our life.... which are all we really have.

This moment, this "now" is where life is happening. If we miss it... it's gone.

Here's to continuing the Journey... staying on the path and learning to be fully present in each "now."

-Becky

Staying on the Path

Inspired by my friend Paul who is doing a series of special posts for this Holy Week at Off the Beaten Track, I have decided to also do something special this week.

After toying with several directions to go, I've decided to use randomly selected quotes from Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, Staying on the Path. My plan is to post one quote each day and then add my own comments.

Generally, I see this Holy Week as a symbolic journey inward. It's a time to bury, or let go of all the things that we've been holding on to – a chance to let go of all the things that keep us stuck, such as fears, hesitations, doubts, and ’yes buts'. It's sort of a metaphysical 'spring cleaning' for the soul preparing us for Easter.

Easter represents freedom, rebirth and renewal - a time where we become re-aligned with our joy in life. A time for starting over with new energy and excitement. Contemplating these things, the randomly selected first quote was no surprise:

Once you become detached from things, they don't own you any longer.

For me, "things" refers to much more than just material "things". It encompasses people, actions, events, affections, outcomes, job titles, labels... or anything that affects our self-worth.

Since there's no way to avoid coming into contact with these various aspects of life, I'm suggesting that we look at these "things" in a different light and ask ourselves these questions:

"Have I attached my self-worth to this 'thing'?"

"Would my self-esteem remain intact if this were taken away from me?"

Like Dr. Dyer suggests, if our self-worth or our self-esteem is linked to something outside of us, then it "owns" a part of us. We do not own our whole self.

One of my biggest challenges is that I like to be in charge, and as a result, I often pile way too much on my plate, only to become totally overwhelmed a few months later. I think the underlying culprit for this is that I tend to attach myself to the "labels" - or to the words that describe my different abilities and the roles I have played at various times in my life.

The biggest example of this has been in the past couple of years. Moving from a very large church in Atlanta, where I was in a full-time leadership role overseeing and directing several groups, and coming to a mid-size church here in Huntsville, where I am just a part-time organist has been an adjustment. However, I felt like I'd gotten this "beast" out of my system.... until a few weeks ago....

Being offered the opportunity to 'help out' and fill in the gaps in an interim position, I started feeling the old 'pull' to start loading up my plate again, mainly because I have the ability and the experience to offer.

However, remembering the detachment process I went through a couple of years ago when I first moved to Huntsville, a move which allowed me to focus my life in other directions, I have had to stop myself and ask:

Would the time and effort needed to do these tasks energize me? Or would they drain me?

If the answer is that they would give me energy, then I need ponder no longer. If, however, I sense that they would drain me, then am I willing to let them go and allow someone else to do them?

Answering those questions has been a learning process - a process that constantly has me asking:

Have I attached my self-worth to this? If it were taken away from me, would my self-esteem remain intact?

Here's to continuing the Journey... staying on the path, and learning to detach from the "things" of life.

-Becky

Duped Again!

... and I did it to myself!

Today's Beliefnet Daily Wisdom was right on....

The key, during both life and death, is to recognize illusions as illusions, projections as projections, and fantasies as fantasies. In this way we become free.*

You know, I would love to know how the hell to do that! For some reason, I always have trouble seeing 'reality' the way it really is.

For instance, this life-changing opportunity I thought I was given.... Last night I discovered that the 'opportunity' I'd been agonizing over was never there in the first place!

Once again, I had ignored the clues and made up my own fantasie 'reality'.

As I've agonized over this fantasie decision in the past two weeks of blog posts, a reader's comment about me being thrown a curve ball was an excellent premonition-type warning to me.... Unfortunately, I see now that it wasn't THEM throwing the ball, it was ME!

Do I feel like the Fool, or what!?

Here's to continuing the Journey... wanting hard to just throw in the towel and get out of the ball game altogether... but reminding myself that it's the process that matters.... and making myself take another step forward anyway....

-Becky

The above quote came in today's Beliefnet Budist Wisdom daily newsletter. I could not find a link directly to that page. Sorry. Here is the credit info from the newsletter:

Quote came from Lama Thubten Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra.

Copyright Wisdom Publications 2001. Reprinted from Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations, edited by Josh Bartok. Reprinted with permission by arrangement with Wisdom Publications, 199 Elm St., Somerville MA 02144 U.S.A, www.wisdompubs.org.

Body Wisdom

These past few days I've taken several more trips Around the Cup gathering and trying on new information concerning a decision I've been actively trying to make over the past couple of weeks....

And this morning, the choice of Which Direction to Go? was crystal clear.

Now, this evening, I'm starting to feel the fear of actually taking a stand... and announcing my decision.

Part of me wants to just disappear.... or at least stay in limbo about it. But I know that would be just prolonging the agony.

However, when I hold the two choices up side by side, my body is very clear with it's signals. One choice feels heavy with the weight of resistance, even though its pathway is familiar. The other choice feels light and 'freeing', with a slight tinge of excitement because its path is more open and unknown.

So.... really... it's just a matter of when.

((A little Divine Guidance.... or maybe even some Divine Intervention would be good here..... Thanks!))

Here's to continuing the Journey... paying attention to what my body is saying, and listening for 'when.'

-Becky

Asking for Help - Follow Up

I've meant to follow up on a post from mid-February, Asking for Help, for awhile. I can't believe it's almost been a whole month since I wrote that post! (February 12)

And I must confess, I haven't been consistently good about asking for help. But... that day, almost four weeks ago, I remember going extremly well. Everything seemed to go smoothly! If I encountered a problem or a questions, I literally, asked for help.... and the results were amazing! I found answers to questions and solutions to problems almost immediately.... or within the next 5 minutes! It was a day of continuous miracles and uplifted spirits!

So why did I not continue this strategy consistently the next day?

Was it too good? Did I not feel like a deserved such amazing help?

I know from years of metaphysical studies that you only allow into your life that which you think/feel you deserve....

Hm... something to ponder....

Today, however, I experienced a different "flavor" of asking for help.

For some reason, I was in a very pissy mood and could not shake it. I really did not want to go through the whole day pissed off. Especially knowing that Thursdays are one of my longer days.

I remembered the teachings from A Course in Miracles.... At any moment you can choose peace instead of this.... And if you're in a place where you can't choose peace yourself, ask the Holy Spirit to choose peace for you....

So I asked for help.... (Look, I'm pissed and I can't seem to shake it. I want peace. But I don't think I can get there right now. Help me. Choose peace for me.)

This prayer was uttered as I got in my car to drive to my first appointment. By the time I arrived, I realized that I was feeling more that just "peaceful".... I was in a really good, happy mood!

And the happy feeling stayed with me most of the day.... But even when my state of mind couldn't really be described as "happy" there was still an underlying sense of peace. And when I felt it waning, I just reminded myself to choose peace again.... (instead of worrying about whatever I felt myself about to dive in to.)

Can I continue this tommorrow? Obviously, I can.... but WILL I?

Here's to continuing the Journey... learning to ask for help consistently, and being open enough to accept the good things that come my way.

-Becky

Starting Over... Letting Go

Monday.... A new week.... A new day.... A new beginning....

I woke up this morning with a sense of "starting over."

Last night, I finally got the March issue of my newsletter out - a project that I forget how much time it really takes, sending it out only once a month.

Also, I feel a great sense of "letting go" concerning a decision I'm in the process of making. (See There's Always a Choice and Walking Around the Cup for background info.)

Over the past two weeks, I've become clearer on more and more details of what I want in my music and teaching studio, in my coaching practice, in my personal life, and in the potential opportunities that are on the horizon.

Now, the only thing left to do is hand it over to God - which I have done. Throughout the discerning process I used the "letters to God" approach found in The 11th Element, refering to God as our Inner CEO.... "This is what I think I want. Please give me this or something better for the highest good of all."

And in essence, I have let go of attachment to the outcome. I've never realized before what a tremendous sense of relief that could give.... Or, maybe I've never really let go...?

Anyway, now, I can get back to concentrating on my day-to-day activities and projects knowing that my "Inner CEO" will let me know when there's something specific I need to know or do.

Meanwhile.... think I'll clean my desk and get ready for this week's surprises!

Here's to continuing the Journey... letting go, starting over, and listening for guidance.

-Becky

Walking Around the Cup

A friend of mine in Atlanta lovingly refers to my thinking process as "walking around the cup."

I admit it.... I can not get from point "A" to point "B" in a straight line. I am very much a circular thinker! I can not, for the life of me, figure out how people make a list without considering all the options from all the various different angles first! How in the world do you know what to put first on the list, then second and so on?

Anyway... this "life changing opportunity" (see There is Always a Choice) has basically thrown me for a loop! I've been mentally and emotionally worthless most of the week. A friend said to me, "Don't do it unless you mean it." Well, it has taken me several times around the cup, with each one being a sort of "clearing" process getting me more and more focused on what I want and what I don't want, to finally get me to the bottom line.....

I can no longer hide from 'speaking my truth', as I call it.... and I can no longer make choices without being in full integrity.

And I can now at least say, "yes, I want to explore the possibilities of turning this opportunity into a reality" and mean it.

The unexpected benefit, is that I also now feel a sense of "release." I can stop being all wrapped up in this decision and get back to doing the things I need to be doing! I can get back to living my life!

I've said, "yes, I'm interested." What else can I do besides get back to doing what I was doing before..... heading in the direction I was going.... and wait for further inspiration and guidance?

Here's to continuing the Journey.... listening.... and walking with integrity around the cup.

-Becky

There is Always a Choice

Monday afternoon I was handed a totally unexpected life changing opportunity.... One that, if taken, will change the direction I was headed in 180 degrees.

What to do? Use this as a 'sign' that the direction I had decided on was incorrect?

Or use it as a 'test' - testing my resolve and committment to my previous choice?

This seems to always happen. Once I finally make a choice and DECIDE, another opportunity comes up - usually offering something completely different.

I know in every moment of life we make choices - but they're usually not this BIG! I feel like I'm at the threshold of a major change in my life.... And I can't seem to concentrate on any of the other things I'm supposed to be doing! It's like I'm caught in a time warp or something....

What if I make the wrong choice? What if I make the right choice? How will I know the difference?

My friend said to me, "Don't do it unless you mean it."

Can I sustain the "meaning it" through each day? On those days when things aren't going well or when I get discouraged can I still mean it? 100%? In either choice these days are bound to happen.

There are pros and cons to each direction, and either choice offers its own unique path toward self-growth.... because that's what life is all about.... our journey toward wholeness....

So... is it just a matter of choosing the scenery?

.... There are scenery and lights and a cast of thousands
who all know what I know.

It's in everyone of us to be wise.
Find your heart open up both your eyes.
We can all know everything without ever knowing why.

It's in everyone of us to be wise by and by.

- It's in Everyone of Us (David Pomeranz)

I don't know yet. And all the fretting and flittering about doesn't change that fact in this moment. Guess I'm trying to think too much. I need to let go of logic - it's just spinning me in circles!

What does my heart want?

What does my heart want? Therein lies my wisdom.

Heres to continuing the Journey.... learning to let go and listen for inner wisdom.

-Becky

DC Chair Nap

DC Chair Nap,
originally uploaded by bwaters.

Here's a picture of my kitty cat, DC. He's a major inspiration to me in my journey to perfection.

-Becky

Kitten Chow Shuffleboard

There's nothing like a good game of 'Kitten Chow Shuffleboard' to unscramble your mind and get the creative juices flowing!

I've been up in my office doing research for the next issue of my newsletter since about 7:00 pm. (It's almost 11:00 now.) Thought I'd focus it on "Meditation" since that subject seems to have come up a lot lately over the past week.

Not a problem except for the fact that after spending the last three plus hours going through the first four pages of the 12,800,000 results from a Google search, I'm a teensie bit overwhelmed. (Note the sarcasm?)

When I finally stop to take a breath... DC, my kitty cat, is dutifully laying on a small filing cabinet near my chair. When I ask him if he's ready to take a break, he charges out of the room, bounces down the stairs and runs into the kitchen.... poised in "ready" position for the first shuffleboard toss.

KCS (Kitten Chow Shuffleboard) has become a nightly ritual for us. I pour myself a glass of white wine - usually some brand of Pinot Grigio, (Ecco Domani is my favorite), and pour DC some fresh Kitten Chow. Then I sit on a small step stool that I keep in the kitchen (at 4'10" step stools are a necessity!) and pull his food bowl over beside me. Then I choose a piece of the dry kitten food and make the first toss.

Sometimes he gets so excited about playing, his whole body vibrates. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging so hard he wouldn't be able to walk straight! The small kitchen is long and narrow, making a perfect shuffle board. DC runs from one end to the next, chasing the Kitten Chow tosses and gobbling them up. We sometimes play 10-15 minutes... or until he starts to just lay there and watch the tosses go by.

All in all, this is very good for both of us. We both get "quality" mother-kitten time, DC gets food, attention, excercise, and I give my brain a much needed rest as well as its own "play" time.

During the game, my brain is free to wander around, thinking what it will. Tonight, fretting over what to write about in my next blog post.... the obvious hit me - write about Kitten Chow Shuffleboard!

And so I did. :o)

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and taking time out for quality play time.

-Becky

Overwhelm

o·ver·whelm - tr.v. o·ver·whelmed, o·ver·whelm·ing, o·ver·whelms

1. To surge over and submerge; engulf: waves overwhelming the rocky shoreline.
2. 1. To defeat completely and decisively: Our team overwhelmed the visitors by 40 points.
   2. To affect deeply in mind or emotion: Despair overwhelmed me.
3. To present with an excessive amount: They overwhelmed us with expensive gifts.
4. To turn over; upset: The small craft was overwhelmed by the enormous waves.

Yup, that's me. Here's the latest contributing factors:

• Traveling always has it's own brand of overwhelm.
• Very intense 24-hour workshop this past weekend.
• Woke up sick Tuesday morning with stomach virus... still not completely well.
• Still recovering from my computer crash and loss of data.
• Over 800 emails still in my inbox - mostly resulting from the "miracle" of getting ALL my emails back after getting my computer reset up after the crash.... all of them since Sept 15, 2004!
• Just volunteered to take my first acting role in a local theatre - which for an introvert who is not totally comfortable speaking in front of groups (but really wants to get over this!), I consider this a graduate crash course on 'Face Your Fears and Get Over It!'

.... perhaps that's why I've been throwing up?

According to Louise Hay's book, Heal Your Body, the mental thought pattern behind vomiting is: "Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new." The affirmation she suggests to build a new thought pattern is: "I digest life safely and joyously. Only good comes to me and through me."

Hm. Something to think about....

Here's to continuing the Journey... trudging through overwhelm, facing fears and learning to digest life safely and joyously!

-Becky

Running Late

Okay.... so I should be about half way to Knoxville by now.... going to the Power of Love workshop this weekend. It starts tomorrow morning at 9:00, so technically, I've got plenty of time to get there, right?

Since I've never driven to Knoxville, I was planning to leave somewhere between 11:00 a.m. and 12:00 noon so that I'd get there before dark. From looking at the map and talking to people, it's anywhere from a 3-4 hour drive plus a time change (from CST to EST). I'm thinking now, at 12:42 p.m., clothes in the dryer, still not dressed or packed, that if I can be in the car driving away by 2:00 p.m. it won't be dark too much by the time I get there.... (?)

So.... what have I been doing all morning?

I've actually gotten a lot of little stuff done that I've been putting off. I've also finished three big projects - finalizing the first sale of my children's musical, getting pictures uploaded from my students' piano/organ party last weekend, and getting user names and passwords set up for the Members-Only area of my teaching website, Water Music Studio.

Yipee!

Oh yes, and post an entry to this blog. I made a promise to myself to write a post every other day - which works out to be the even numbered days.

Double Yipee!!

Here's to continuing the Journey... making progress in small steps and adjusting the finish line as needed!

-Becky

The Distance Between

The distance between where I want to be in life compared to where I am now is.... probably a 5th or a 6th - measured by musical intervals, that is.

A musical interval refers to the distance between two notes. This "distance" is called an interval, and can be 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, 7ths and 8ths, which are called octaves.

I've been thinking about intervals a lot lately.... Each one has a certain recognizable sound, and in my article, Melody Codes, (which I'm considering turning into my first e-book), I give examples of each interval as used in common tunes. I wrote it several years ago, so I'm thinking about offering a contest to my piano/organ students to come up with more up-to-date examples.

All this must have gotten the creative juices flowing because after checking my email this morning, I turned off the world (i.e. my email program) and wrote a song - for the first time in about a year.

It felt GREAT!

Of course, then I did the obsessed tunnel-vision thing and couldn't stop until it was done. (My plan was to just write for an hour and establish this as a new morning habit.) That was at 8:30 a.m. CT. It is now 1:00 p.m. CT.

Oh well.... Here's to continuing the Journey... and letting the creativity flow!

-Becky

Here's a copy of the first page. Made an mp3 file too. When I figure out how to upload it, I'll share it with you!

I Love. Do You?

Trying to think of some kind of special Valentine's Day post to write this morning, I got an email announcement from a friend about a blog she had just started. The Valentine's thought she proposes is perfect in it's simplicity and in it's relevance to all people, whether married or single.

I'm definitely taking on this new-thought challenge!

I love. Do you?

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and affirming Love.

-Becky

Asking for Help

If you have not discovered BeliefNet.com I encourage you to explore this site. It has a wealth of information including articles, quizes and an assortment of daily quotes that you can subcribe to.

My favorite is the Angel Wisdom daily quote. And the timing of today's quote was exactly what I needed:

Dear Angels, help me know where to put my foot down next. Please make it REALLY clear, so I won't miss it. - Barbara Mark and Trudy Griswold, The Angelspeake Storybook

Sometimes I get so focused on "doing" and plowing-through-by-golly that I forget to take a step back and survey the land, so to speak, and ask, "Ok... what's next? Where do I go from here?"

Think I'll try that all day today and see what happens!

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and having the wisdom to ask for help.

-Becky

What if....

"What if," my friend said to me last night, "what if money was no concern and you could do anything you wanted. What would you be doing? How would you spend your time?"

After some thought, I answered, "I'd be going to women's shelters and homeless shelters, talking to people, listening to their stories, trying help them, if they chose, to let go of being the "victim" and helping them find the way to take control of their own lives again."

"So why don't you do that now?"

Thinking about that conversation this morning, my mind is filled with fears and thoughts of self-doubt:

• "Who do you think you are?!"
• "What could you possibly have to share?"
• "You wouldn't know what to say anyway."
• "That would be such a 'patronizing' thing to do!"
• "You don't have time. You can't even get the things done that you already have to do."
• "You don't have the skills, training or credentials do do that sort of thing."
• "You don't even know where those places are in Huntsville, anyway."
• "That's way outside of your comfort zone."
  

About that time I got this email:

We often have to shhhh'em-up, Becky, here in the unseen. It's just that they become so excited when they see that a really HUGE dream is about to manifest in the seen, they completely forget that from where you are, nothing, yet, appears any different.

SHU-U-USH IT!
The Universe

P.S. Becky, never trust appearances (unless they make you happy).

Hm.... here's to continuing the Journey.... and getting up the courage to see beyond appearances.

- Becky

P.S. The Universe daily ezine is from www.tut.com

What Do You Really Want?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

- Bill Watterson

Through December and the first part of January, the internet was brimming with on-line newsletters giving advice and helpful hints for New Years Resolutions and setting goals for 2005. Each had their own individual way of expressing it, but the basic steps boiled down to these:

• decide what you want
• design a plan
• go for it

Now, that's all fine and good - IF you know what you want. My challenge has always been trying to decide exactly what DO I want?

My recent computer crash (read Computer Crash Course) helped me remember that the foundation for deciding what I want (verses going from this to that in endless circles) is in knowing my purpose for being here.

When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it.

- W. Clement Stone

With a mission in hand, I have a direction and a set of guidelines for evaluating large and small decisions and choices that come my way.

I'm finding, though, that even with these self-determined "boundries" it's still not always blatently clear where the road is.... It's like driving on a snow covered highway and you're in the lead car making the first tracks, surrounded by "white" all all sides. You have a good guess where the boundries of the road are - or should be - but you have to drive slowly and very intuitively, watching out for curves in the road.

I'd much rather have neon signs flashing and big arrows pointing the way!

But I guess that's just part of the Journey.... driving intuitively, watching for curves in the road.

-Becky

P.S. For ideas on finding your purpose and creating a mission statement for your life, read the latest issue of Create a Happy 'Tude - Desire.

What's Your Spirituality?

Click on the title link above (What's Your Spirituality) to go to a fun on-line test that was introduced to me by a fellow blogger, Paul Willis. (check out his blog, 'Off The Beaten Track'...)

Just answer the 20 questions around your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and other sorts of things, and it will tell you what religion you practice... or should be practicing!

Try it out..... I was very surprised at my results. (I didn't even know there WAS a "New Thought" religion!) Here they are:

1. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (100%)
2. New Thought (100%)
3. New Age (97%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
5. Scientology (85%)
6. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (84%)
7. Neo-Pagan (83%)
8. Liberal Quakers (81%)
9. Mahayana Buddhism (64%)
10. Taoism (59%)
11. Reform Judaism (54%)
12. Theravada Buddhism (48%)
13. Secular Humanism (42%)
14. Bahá'í Faith (41%)
15. Hinduism (40%)
16. Sikhism (37%)
17. Orthodox Quaker (36%)
18. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (26%)
19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (22%)
20. Nontheist (22%)
21. Jehovah's Witness (14%)
22. Jainism (10%)
23. Orthodox Judaism (10%)
24. Islam (6%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (1%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (0%)
27. Roman Catholic (0%)

Here's to continuing the Journey.... and finding your preferred path.

-Becky

Computer Crash Course

There's nothing like a computer crash to set you back and make you completely re-evaluate your life!

The fateful event happened two weeks ago.... I lost all my data.

Lesson number one, of course is: back up your files!

Lesson number two?

Taking a day or two (or three or four) off from the computer can give you a chance to focus on the "big picture" rather than your daily or weekly "to-do" list. Or, in other words, it gives you a chance to sit back and survey the "forest" instead of always focusing on the "trees."

Two weeks ago, I'd planned to finish up a composing project, getting it ready for publication. But without a computer, I decided to read a marketing book I'd been meaning to start - Attracting Perfect Customers, the Power of Strategic Synchronicity, by Stacey Hall and Jan Brogniez.

The first step they suggested for getting yourself "synchronized" was to list your values and define your mission in life.

Seven months ago, graduating from coaching school and setting up my practice, I'd come up with a mission, or purpose statement that seemed right:

The purpose of my life is to live with passion and open-hearted awareness, and to inspire others to do the same by digging deep into their soul and discovering the Truth.

Although this still feels right, it seems a little vague and airy-fairy now. The re-evaluation process brought me to a more specific focus:

My mission is to help others grow into their potential so they can live their purpose.

This statement combines teaching and coaching, giving a unified purpose to what I do. Also, it's exactly what I've doing too, personally and business-wise. You know, they say.... the best way to learn something is to teach it..... Well, here I am.

Here's to continuing the Journey.... surviving crash courses and teaching what you need to learn!

-Becky

Aid for Tsunami

I've been searching for the last two weeks for an answer to the questions:

How can I help the victims in Asia?

What is my part in all of this?

And this morning, I found the answers....

• I am offering three coaching sessions at a greatly reduced rate to five people on a first come first serve basis and donating the money;
• I am hosting a surrogate EFT telecall on Saturday, January 15 to send love and healing;
• I am promoting Gary Craig's idea, (he's the founder of EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique) for a worldwide call for a group surrogate EFT Sunday at 9:00 am/pm Pacific Time.

For more information, please follow the title link.

Here's to continuing the Journey... and doing what I can to spread compassion and aid to those in need.

-Becky

Thrive in 2005 - in a Labyrinth of Goodies

"Thrive in 2005" seems to be the new buzz phrase in the coaching world....

In these five days of 2005, and in the last weeks of 2004, I've been doing a lot of thinking about "thriving" - wondering how in the world can I do that, and what would it look like? I'm pretty clear on the bottom line...

YES! I do want to THRIVE in 2005!

And NO, I don't want to just exist, or sort of accomplish things, or almost make it...

I must admit, 2004 was a good, but very busy year. I did accomplish a lot of things - won about six composition contests, wrote two commissioned pieces, received an all-expense-paid trip to Lithuania, performed in a lot of concerts, made my singing debut in a contemporary Christian band, became a certified life coach, met a lot of wonderful people, took some really awesome personal growth courses, and made a lot of progress in my journey toward wholeness....

However, I also ended the year financially depleted of resources, holding my breath that the next deposit would get there before the checks and debit card charges....

Thrive in 2005?

Looking back at the beginning of 2004, my mindset was more tuned to defensive living instead of pro-active living.

By this, I mean that I was mostly reacting to life. I was waiting on things to happen to me, then reacting to them instead of living pro-actively - setting intentions and looking for opportunities to succeed.

It's the difference in the feeling of running to catch your run-away, filled-to-the-brim shopping cart in a busy parking lot, hoping you catch it before it smashes into someone's car... verses pushing your cart through a labyrinth of wonderful goodies on a warm, summer day, where you can clearly see the layout of the labyrinth and all you have to do is choose the "goodies" you want to fill your cart with....

Ah, yes... I can feel the sun's warmth already.... and the "goody" choices look and smell especially yummy.... Guess it's all a matter of perspective....

Here's to continuing the Journey... living with pro-active intention and breathing in the abundance offered in the Labyrinth of Goodies.

-Becky

Happiness is a Choice

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds
to be." -Abraham Lincoln

It's true.... because the only thing we really have control over is our thoughts.

We can choose to complain about our life and wallow in self-pitty. Or we can take charge of our thoughts and change our perspective.

This week I have begun the ominous task of clearing the clutter from my home office, getting my work space re-organized, evaluating what I've accomplished this year, and brainstorming about what I want to do next year. And I'm determined NOT to get overwhelmed... an easy, but very "unhappy" thing for me to get into.

I spent all morning yesterday, going through a 20-inch high stack of information I'd printed out over past several weeks. Then I got side-tracked on a writing project that I thought would only take an hour or so, but instead, took all afternoon.

As I was rushing to get ready for an early evening appointment, I felt the frustration coming on, realizing that this clearing-the-clutter project was going to take way more time than I thought. And I felt the overwhelm monster beginning to raise it's ugly head.

Luckily, instead of going down that road, I decided to stop and give myself a time-out. I thought about how wonderful it was going to be to walk into a clutter-free, organized office without having to follow the paper-stack-lined trail to get to my desk. I imagined how productive I would be and how good it would feel to easily finish all my projects next year in an organized, workable space.....

Then I decided to be happy instead of frustrated. I have this week and next week to get organized. I don't have to do it all today, or even tomorrow.

And that was a very happy relief!

Here's to continuing the Journey... taking charge of our thoughts and choosing happiness!

-Becky

If There Is To Be Peace

If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace.... in the heart.

Lao-Tse, legendary founder of Taoism from 5th century BCE, wrote these words in Tao Te Ching, translated, The Way of Life. You can read the whole poem in the December issue of Create a Happy 'Tude.

Going backwards, from world, to nation, to city, to neighbor, to home and to heart, he gently nudges this sometimes illusive concept of "world peace" back into our own hands, showing us that it's OUR responsibility.

Peace begins in your heart and in my heart. Once our hearts and our homes are filled with peace, then it can't help but spill over into our neighborhoods, our cities, our nations and our world.

As the song says, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." (Jill Jackson Miller, 1955.) May there be peace in your heart and peace in your home this holiday season and into the coming year.

Here's to continuing the Journey... and spreading peace wherever we go.

-Becky

P.S. For more "Peace" ideas and inspirations, check out the December issue of my newsletter, Create a Happy 'Tude.

'Tis the Season...

... to be stressed out to the max!

Christmas programs, office parties, friends' parties, presents to buy, goodies to bake, meals to plan and prepare, decorations to put up, gifts to wrap...... all to ensure that everybody has a Merry Christmas?

Bah humbug.

Does it HAVE to be so busy?

Several years ago, my sister and I decided to just go the "token gift" route because, after all, the real gift of the season was spending time together as a family. Right?

Well that thinking lasted until all the "supposed to's" kicked in, which was promptly followed by an over dose of worry and guilt.

Buying someone a gift - regardless of price - is a major worry event for me. I spend a great deal of time debating in my head whether or not the receiver will like it or even want it. I also weigh into the equation what the odds might be of this gift being relegated to their White Elephant gift list.

So when my sister and I decided to do "token" gifts, my worry meter went up about 105% when I actually started trying to figure out what in the world to give!

Basically, I hate Christmas. Or rather, I hate what it has become. It's riddled with "shoulds" - all the things we do and feel because someone else told us that's what we should do or feel.

Now, these are not all bad. There are some very good things about the season.... getting together with family you haven't seen for awhile, showing appreciation to other people in your life.... anything done, said or given freely without obligation or agenda.... these are good.

However, doing things out of obligation is not. Being swept up in the middle of someone else's agenda is not. These things suck the life out of me and get my radical, break-all-the-rules blood boiling.

What if.... no one gave gifts one Christmas? What if it was the "norm" to give your time to someone outside your regular sphere of friends or family? What if you anonymous hid $1, $5, or even $10 or $20 bills as you went about your day, leaving them for someone else to find? What if you made a game out of seeing just how many different people you could look into their eyes and say a sincere "Merry Christmas"?

What if....?

Here's to continuing the Journey... finding time to breathe and having the courage to spread the real joy of the season.

-Becky

What's the Purpose?

Monday I finished up the next-to-the-last project in a long list of commitments I agreed to in September. Talk about a weight being lifted off my shoulders! This week, I only have one project to work on and it feels great - almost like begin on vacation!

I have a bad habit of piling too many things on my plate. Then, I start to feel overwhelmed and trapped when due dates start coming around.

These trapped, overwhelm feelings also happen because I haven't been purposeful about scheduling time to work on each project as soon as it's agreed to. Instead, I tend to go merrily along with all these To-Do's labeled as "future" events in my head. Then, when the lead time has been reduced to emergency status, tunnel-vision kicks in and it's full-force ahead, all-engines-go! As a result, all projects behind the current one get put even further behind, the stress level increases and the cycle continues.

And in the middle of my exhaustion, I wonder.... What's the purpose? Why do I continue to do this to myself? What do I really want?

Do I agree to do things because "yes" is my default answer? Or do I decide to do them because they are in line with my purpose in life?

Sadly, I realize the answer is that I'm living more by default than on purpose.

Unfortunately, living on default is like living on the defense, reacting to everything, which eventually begins to feel like everything is beyond my control. When I feel like I have no choice, the stress level goes up and tempers become short.

The truth is, though, I DO have a choice. And that choice is to continue to agree to anything and everything that comes along without discretion, or the choice to take a minute and think about whether this new project will move me more toward my purpose or away from my purpose.

One thing I have begun to realize over the past couple of years is that just because I CAN do something, doesn't mean I HAVE to do it. Guess I need to take that one step further and start filtering in how each potential project fits into my life purpose, which is....

... to live with passion and open-hearted awareness, and to inspire others to do the same by digging deep into their souls and discovering the Truth.

Here's to continuing the Journey.... learning to make better choices and living on Purpose.

-Becky

Finding the Balance - Dictator vs Enabler

As a teacher, I am always conscious of the fine line between the two extremes - setting guidelines for the student and giving constructive feedback, verses giving the student room to explore their own creativity and space to discover their own answers.

With my music students, how do I encourage their creativity and love of music while building a solid musical foundation? How do I help them memorize and eventually internalize the "rules" that make the language of music enjoyable without dampening their enthusiasm and weighing them down with.... well, the "rules?"

As for myself, I have never liked being told what to do or how to do it - especially when it comes to my creativity. Yet, on the other hand, whether it's music, writing, working on a job or project, or finding myself in a new situation - I want to know what the "rules" are. Mainly, so that I can change, challenge or stretch them if they don't suit me!

However, I've noticed throughout my life that I don't always give others this same privilege. When directing other people in creative projects, I tend to become a Creative Dictator instead of a Creativity Enabler.

Thinking back over a rehearsal I directed last night, I see that the Dictator took the leading roll most of the evening. I wish I had allowed more of the Enabler to shine through.

Being the Enabler requires trust. Trust in the abilities and talents of the people you're working with, for sure. But even more, it requires trust in the Creative Process.

Last night was our first rehearsal - a band rehearsal for a Christmas musical production. I meant it to be more of an information session - a chance to give music cues, let them know what's happening where in the drama and on stage, as well as a chance to go through the music together and assign vocal parts, instrumental leads and such.

This was not the time to dictate exactly what they would play, which was fairly easy with the drums and guitars because I don't play them. The keyboard, however, was a different story. And, looking back, I feel like I went a little overboard.... or gave my suggestions to the keyboard guy just a little too strongly. I apologize for this.

Also, in those think-on-my-feet situations, I have a tendency to come across a little more dictator-like than how I really mean. This comes from a lifetime habit of trying to say something in the least amount of words.... which is a by-product of growing up shy. The result, unfortunately, is that what I really mean doesn't always come out in the first few words that come out of my mouth. And those first words often come out as a really bad Reader's Digest version that sometimes misses the whole point entirely!

.... And I tend to worry.... being especially sensitive to Creative Dictators personally, and knowing that there are more than a few examples in my history of being one myself, I am acutely aware that I do that thing that I hate the most!

Why do I do that!?

.... A question for another day. For now, I'll just continue to be aware of my Creative Dictator tendency and be on the look out for opportunities to give the Creative Enabler the staring role.

Here's to continuing the Journey... finding balance and trusting the creative process.

- Becky